Yes.. the phrase above is from an old P.Ramlee songs that always reminds us about marriage..

Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit
Apa pula suami isteri
Buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih
Baru teguh peribadi
Suami isteri mesti berpakat
Rumah tangga mendapat berkat

I can't help thinking about my two friends that were having a marital problems right now.. I'm glad that they confide their problems with me but at the same time I felt really hopeless.. I can just lend an ear and maybe gave a couple of advice but everything must actually comes from them to improve their marriage.. they are the one that have to try to work it out..

Sadly nowadays we see a lot of broken marriages, unlike when we were much younger, we seldom heard of people getting a divorce.. people nowadays are so easy to pick divorce as a solution.. and the victims are always their children's.. my children's suffered whenever my husband is working away from home for a long period of time.. I can't imagine the ordeal that these children's had to go through when their parents are divorced..

I've been married for more than 8 years.. It is not that long compared to others but I am truly grateful that we have been blissfully happy for the past 8 years together. Of course there are some down moments in our marriage like others but divorce has never been considered as an option.. We got married based on love and we hope that it stays that way forever for all eternity..



I'm not a marriage expert here.. just sharing some thought's on marriage which might be beneficial to others..(to remind me too at the same time :P)

1) Someone told me before that marriage is like buying a music CD, you get some songs that you really like but you also get the songs that you don't like as well.. You have to accept your partners weaknesses not only his/her strength.. of course you have to tell him/her whenever they make any mistakes but not up to a point that he/she thinks that you just try to find their faults.. We are all humans, everybody makes mistakes.. whenever we think that we are the victim for having to live with the other person, we should also put ourselves in their shoes and think also how difficult it must be for him/her to be living with somebody like us..

2) Marriage is like a business.. a partnership.. both side has to contribute... of course each of us has already got their own designation; husband - provide for the family, wife - take care of the household and children.. But we cannot expect only one partner did everything.. For example if the wife is working, the husband should help with the housework and childrens too.. same goes to the wife (if she's working).. once in a while she can help in settling some bills not just leave it to the husband alone.. We cannot expect only one partner to come up with initiatives.. If the wife is always more romantic that the husband, once in a while the husband should do a surprise too..

3) Avoid provocative statements or sensitive issues during arguments.. for example don't say things like "you act just like your stupid mother/father!! etc".. don't overly critisize your partners family member too.. maybe it is nothing to you but your partner might get hurt. Respect your in-laws just as you would respect your own family.

4) Whenever we had a big fight and things get ugly.. one of us would usually leave the house for a couple of hours (go to the movies, shopping, etc.. to cool down).. if we carry on we might say something too hurtful or do something which we might regret later.. But of course.. try to avoid any big fight/arguments (bad for the childrens).. try to talk/reason slowly in a civilised manner..

5) The little things counts.. Do something everyday for your partner no matter how little/insignificant but really shows that you care.. It doesn't have to be fancy.. a shoulder/foot massage, his/her favourite dish.. in this case action does speaks louder than words.. Always find some time to do things together.. for example at least eat or pray together once a day.. Always appreciate all the things that your partner do.. whether big or small..

7) Always keep a picture of you and your partner during the early days as a couple or newlyweds around the house.. Whenever things get rough you can always look back to those times when both of you were so much in love with each other..

8) This is important.. always take care not to have any bad mouth and body odour.. That is one big NO NO!!! (unless if your partner prefers the smelly you, hahaha :P)..

To both my friends, my prayers will always be with you.. hopefully you would be able to solve all your problems.. Please don't give up on your marriage just yet.. don't give up on your love just yet..