Nilam is such a drama queen. She cried her eyes out for three days when I told her that the three of us, me, herself and her sister most probably will be going back to Malaysia in two months time. It gets worse especially in the morning before going to school. The main reason for her crying is due to the fact that she will have to leave her school and friends (and not because of leaving her father in Vietnam - kurang asam betul anak ini..)

I never expected that she would react this way considering on how she always complain about the current school; very strict teacher, naughty kids etc.. I genuinely thought that she would be happy with the news.. On the third day I started to lose my patience.. (I slightly raised my voice; regretted doing so but I had to get the point across to her).. I explained to her the reason for moving back; that Vietnam is not our country and sooner or later we have to go back to Malaysia.. I told her that it is not mine nor her father's choice and nothing we can do to change it.. I used the examples of her other friends that already left Vietnam to go back to their country.. she seems subdued but still crying when I drop her off at school..

Later that evening, she seems to be her cheerful old self again, she does her homework after mengaji (surprisingly without being told to this time); have no problem finishing her rice (another surprise); read a book and gave me and her father a kiss before bed.. I guess my explanation (or yelling) works..

The fact is.. moving has always been hard on childrens, it gets worse when they get older.. We move house almost every year (in Malaysia too).. The first few days in a new place is hard on the parents too for having to deal with the childrens tantrums..

Here are some tips on moving with childrens..

1. Keep them in the loop

As soon as you know there’s even a possibility of a relocation, include your children in the conversation. Don’t wait until it’s a sure thing and then spring it on them. Listen to their concerns and tell them to come to you with their fears, anxieties and questions.

2. Explain everything, assume nothing

Assume your children know nothing about what a move entails. Very young children will be confused about what they’re able to take and what they won’t. They don't always know what is part of the house and what doesn't convey. Assure them that all their toys, clothes, furniture and belongings will be put into boxes and taken to the new house.Walk around your house with your child. Have him point to things and tell him, “Yes, your bed is going to the new house.” “No, that wall is going to stay here.”

3. Be positive and upbeat about the move.

Your attitude about the move will influence your children attitude as well. If you dread moving, then the move will seem dreadful to them too. Be enthusiastic, upbeat, and positive about the new experiences and opportunities in store, and your children will be more likely to feel the same way.

4. Involve them in the home buying process

If possible, take your children along on your house hunt. Make clear at the onset that the final decision is up to the adults, but that their opinions will be considered.If you can’t take them along, keep them involved. Take pictures of the houses you're considering and bring them back to show the kids.

5. Let your children know they can help with the move.

This is a good time to emphasize that the move is a family event and that everyone will be part of the planning and packing. Start your kids on thinking of things they can do and how to get ready for the move. Assure your kids that their contributions, however small, will be valued and greatly appreciated.

6. Plan a nice goodbye

Before you move, throw a going-away party for your kids and invite their friends.

7. Make the transition fun

Plan to splurge a little bit on transitioning from one home to another. Spend a night in a hotel with an indoor pool. Go to fun, kid-friendly restaurants for meals. Set aside time to see a movie or theme parks.

8. Know your child’s new school

School is the center of your child’s universe. She’ll only be happy if she’s happy in school. As soon as you know where you’ll be living, contact the school and get information on how to register and what documents and paperwork are required. Specifically ask about transitioning between classes and what supplies your child will need. As soon as possible, meet personally with the guidance counselor, principal and your child’s teachers and take a tour of the building with your child, so she can familiarize herself with his new surroundings.

9. Keep similar routines

With toddlers, keep things and routines familiar to ease the transition. Set up a toddler's new room similar to the old one.

10. Reward them

Find something new, good and different about the new house or town and play it up. i.e Buy a trampoline for the new, bigger yard. Give this new place something new the old one didn’t have.

11. Make their rooms a priority

Before you start fixing up the new house, do your kids a favor and let them redecorate their rooms first. Let them pick out a paint color and a new bedspread. Having a place they feel comfortable and can call their own will work wonders for their settling in.

12. Explore

Once you arrive in the new place, start exploring. What does your new location have that you’ve never experienced? Start reaping the benefits of your new environment right away. Your kids will feel like they’re on a vacation.



I end my entry today with a video of nilam (taken by her class teacher) doing some activities in her class.. She'll definitely lose that British accent of hers once she starts schooling in Malaysia..