Got this sms from my husband recently..
“saya proud ngan anak2 kita, boleh bawak diri, tak naughty sangat, cerdik, quite well behaved.. berbaloi kita keras ngan diorang dulu..”
Yes, we were really tough with them. Ever since we became parents we were determined not to raised any brats.. In case you were wondering who are considered as Brats you just have to look around you.. Brats are kids that even their own parents could not control.. you’ll see them in the mall yelling and screaming their heads off.. and you’ll see their parents always pleading and begging.. People would think that this brat trait would go away as they are getting older.. This is not true at all, once a brat always a brat, they are just getting smarter in hiding their brattiness.. They are going to have difficulties later in life since they can't really cope with rejections, frustrations and failure.
Some of you might think that I’m cruel but I started to train my child not to become brats as early as a few weeks old. I would usually let them cry first if they were hungry… I didn’t always shoved the milk to them without them having to ask for it first.. childrens who grew up getting everything without having to ask would just turned up to be one selfish individual expecting the world to cater for their only need and to be able to read their mind and know what they want. Serious psychological problems there.. By letting my babies to cry first, as early as two months old I was able to differentiate between the cry for hunger, the cry for wet nappies or just simply ngada2 wanted to be hold. I would pick them up for feeding and changing, but I won’t be picking them up for the third reason. It was really hard to do as a mother, especially with Melati whom to me is the most beautiful baby ever.. Gradually after a few days they learned that I’m not going to pick them up and start playing with themselves and enjoying their independence.. They hardly cries after that.. It is much easier to detect whenever they got sick too, compared to ngada2 crybabies who cries all the time. I never let them sleep with me, ever since day one they have to sleep on their cot, in their own room. I never wait for them to fall asleep, or tepuk2, sing them lullaby etc.. I just put them down nice and snug, switch off the lights and closed the door. Babies who were left to fall asleep on their own won’t cry if they suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night, if they were not hungry they would just go back to sleep or play by themselves.. and babies who used to play by themselves would develop faster..
Grandparents tend to be one of the factors that would spoil or turned childrens to brats.. But this is actually their role, they were meant to pamper and spoil their grandchildrens.. It is healthy if given for example on a weekly basis but not daily. It is the parents fault themselves. Sadly and sickening, most young parents simply shoved their babies/childrens to the grandparents to be taken care of. Just by taking pictures with your baby and post it all over facebook won’t make you a parent, you have to bath them, feed them, play with them etc.. It is your role to raise your child not their grandparents. No wonder your children won’t listen to you, who are you to them.. after all, they still have their grandparents to turned to.. and with them, they can get away with everything…
Speaking of getting away.. some parents just simply forgive their child whenever they did something wrong right after they made a not guilty face and said sorry. This is one big NO!NO!.. I know that you think your child is so cute with that sad puppy face but wrong is still considered wrong and they must be punished. One simple sorry simply won’t do. Discussed with your partner and rule out which are considered wrong and what type of punishment should be given. And stick to that, be consistent.. Don’t scold and punish them one day and let them go the other day for the same wrongdoings.
Whenever I, or the father were scolding any of our children, the other parent will not interfere. Often I see for example when one father was scolding his child, the mother would interfere to defend the child.. this is so unacceptable.. no matter how you detest it, voiced your concern behind closed doors afterwards and not in front of that child. Don’t give him/her any hope of people coming to their rescue each time they were in trouble. The other parent should not join in the scolding too; he/she should wait until the ordeal is over and help to console and knock some sense into the child later.
I always gawk in disbelief whenever I heard any parents bragging about their child mischievousness, and to make matters worse he/she did it in front of the child.. It might seem funny to them at the moment (although I found it not funny at all especially when it involves violence) but please avoid doing that.. you should have seen the expression of pride on your child face.. Hello!!! That is not something to be proud of.. and afterwards you’ll have a tough time correcting it, because you already instill it to the child that what he/she did was good/funny /cute or whatever you want to call it.. So, Lu Pikirlah Sendiri!!
Glad to share some of this Brat Buster Tips, hope that it would be beneficial to some. I’m not a child expert here, just a mother of two who simply refused to raise a brat. People around us were saying that we were lucky to have such a well behaved kids.. We were indeed truly grateful to have them but the truth is there is no luck involved at all, we just made a point to them that we, the parents are the one in charge since day one, not them.. and they understand the concept.. as simple as that..
